They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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