well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
