I am midnight drunk by noon
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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