I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I love black thongs
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
