Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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