don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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