I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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