ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
