Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
