I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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