On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
