'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
