There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
