Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
