I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Come see our sink grown plant.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
