Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
pop tarts are not kleenex
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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