I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
