We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
