Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
