I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
