About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
