what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
