I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize