I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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