Why are handjobs necessary in class?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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