We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize