Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Enjoy the penises
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
