Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
