Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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