a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
