I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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