nut hugger
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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