yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
