handjob tips. give me some.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
