Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
