It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
