he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
