In the future we'll all be gay
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
