brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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