Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I still have a little drunk in my system
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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