I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We need to rekindle our bromance
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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