I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
