Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
