I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
