She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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