nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just blew my weed a kiss
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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