Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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