is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
