I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
