I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
