It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I have aggressive nipples.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
