and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
