doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
