i think i have herpe
just one?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
