The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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