The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
