she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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