Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We left the knife in your bed.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
